Arlene Maycumber: do your own research........
Norine Lomonte: What has two wheels and is getting rusty in the castle grounds?Princess Diana's bycycle
Brittney Inabnit: Blonde joke, but trust me, its funny!There were three construction workers eating their lunch together, a redheaded guy, a brunette guy, and a blonde guy. The redheaded guy opened his lunch and found a bologna sandwich."Again! Every day, a bologna sandwich. If my wife makes me a bologna sandwich for lunch tomorrow, I'll jump off this scaffolding," he said.The brunette guy opened his lunch and found a tuna sandwich."I hate tuna! If my wife makes me tuna tomorrow, I'll jump, too!"The blond guy opened his lunch and found a PBJ sandwich."If I find a PBJ in my lunch tomorrow I'll jump, too!"The next day, the redheaded guy found a bologna sandwich in his lunch, and jumped off the scaffolding to his death. When the brunette guy saw his tuna sandwich, he jumped as well. Then the blonde guy found his PB! J, and also jumped.A few days later, their wives had a joint funeral for the men. The redhead's wife was sobbing, "If only I had known! I never would have made him bologna again!" The brunette's wife was crying, "I didn't know he hated tuna! Why did this happen!" They looked at the blonde guy's wife, and she said, "Don't look at me, the idiot made his own lunch."...Show more
Toby Women: Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married. A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. O! n his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma! of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten ! egg. He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin. When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smi! ling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked ! in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!' To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party....Show more
Lahoma Beadell: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?He was dead (ah, so sorry).Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?He was dead.Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?No silly, he wasn't dead. Don't be so morbid. It was peer pressure....Show more
Georgianna Zollo: http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtmlhttp://www.ahajokes.com/http://www.the-jokes.com/http://www.lotsofjokes.com/http://www.jokesgallery.com/http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htmhttp://www.jokes2000.com/http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.htmlhttp://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/! yo-mama-j...http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_categ...http://www.blonde-jokes.info/http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.aspPlease visit the above pages. I hope, it helps u....Show more
Wilfredo Muldoon: Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"? The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. ! Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Cinderella said, "O! oh, thank you, Fairy Godmother" The fairy godmother replied, "It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?" Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had." At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years. And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?" Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man." Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen. The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life." With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother ! was gone as suddenly as she appeared. For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered... "Bet you're sorry you neutered me."...Show more
Bud Espenshade: Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, ! so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally le! ft out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:...Show more
Emilie Santmyer: what did one tampon say to the other? nothing, they were both stuck up b!tches.
Tomeka Hameen: why did tigger look interior the bathroom? by using fact he needed to come across pooh 3 adult men who have been misplaced interior the woodland have been captured with the aid of cannibals. The cannibal king instructed the prisoners that they might stay in the event that they bypass an ordeal. the 1st step of the trial re! placed into to pass to the woodland and get ten products of an identical form of fruit. So all 3 adult men went separate a thank you to collect end result. the 1st one got here back and pronounced to the king, "I delivered ten apples." The king then defined the trial to him. "you need to shove the end result up your *** with none expression on your face or you would be eaten." the 1st apple went in... yet on the 2nd he winced out in soreness, so he replaced into killed. the 2nd arrived and confirmed the king ten berries. whilst the king defined the trial to him he theory to himself that this ought to be hardship-free. a million...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the 9th berry he burst out in laughter and replaced into killed. the 1st guy and the 2nd guy met in heaven. the 1st one asked, "Why did you snort, you in basic terms approximately have been given away with it?" the 2nd spoke back, "i could not help it, I observed the third guy coming with pineapples."...Show more!
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